grandma passed away. sighs. though i'm not close to her, i sort of feel very sad. all along, i know she had been struggling with life. everytime she quarrelled with my uncles or aunties, i felt sad for her. she just wanted more attention i guess. but now, she's gone. should i be happy for her? that she had been released from the pain she had been going through. or should i be sad? that i cant hear her laughter anymore? not long ago, my great grandmother had passed away too. now, she had gone to join her. sighs. when my great grandmother died, she cried. i felt sad too. now, i dont know what to say. whats gone is gone. i cant help but feel that next year chinese new year she wont be there anymore. i cant wish her happy new year anymore. she wont be there. anymore. i looked at the photo i had taken with her. she was smiling. and i guess this time, she isnt smiling anymore. i guessed she died in pain. mother told me she had fainted at home for quite a long time before my aunt found her. i guess its a terrible feeling to have no one by your side when you die. i felt sorry for her. i hadnt seen her for quite sometime. everytime i see her, she's thinner each time. sighs. i hope that if there's another world, she'll be happy there.

all i wanna say is,
goodbye, grandma. take care of yourself in the other world. if there is. i guess i'll think of you. goodbye. though i'm not close to you, i wanna say. i love you, grandma.

♥ Friday, October 27, 2006
7:32 PM