had parade today. official taking over of duties ba. well, am i a failure? myabe i am. i just don't know what else to say. it's just like i'm a useless freak. i don't know. sighs. whatever it is. i just feel so tired today. on the way home, i didn't talk again. kept quiet all the way. was listening to my mp3. zi teng hua and wo hen xiang ai ta are very nice. hmm. thought of things again. realised how unimportant i was. how redundant i am. sighs. do i really look like one without feelings that all of you would always not care about my feelings? i shouldn't hve wasted my efforts to care about all of you when you people are down. is that what you're all trying to say? if so, fine. be that way. get me out off your life. or maybe i wasn't even a part. not a tiny bit. SIGHS. whatever. i just don't feel happy for the moment. yes, i DON'T feel happy. i am sad. so stop saying 'oh, you are happy huh' that kind of things or should i say words. they kinda make me hate or maybe just detest or dislike the person who says it.
well, i'm still not in good mood now. i wanted you to be by my side.but i know its imposiible. i just wanna cry. my results just sucks. sighs. i studied ok. but i just fail again. sighs. someone just slap me or kill me. it's like what the fuck? i FAILED again? what the fuck. i admit i'm dumb. i'm stupid. the only result i'm happy with was my physics and emaths paper 1. others, FORGET IT. don't want to talk anymore. how i wish there's someone whom i can talk to. but surprisingly, there isn't. or maybe i should have expected it. sighs. i miss you.but its already the past.i know you're leading your life happily and i shouldn't interfere.i dont have the right to.sighs.you're still not out of my mind yet.iloveyou.
♥ Tuesday, October 17, 2006
9:27 PM