i want to hate you! but i guess everyone knows i cant bear to.trust me. i really want to hate you. for hurting me again and again. you asked me to wait and i did. i did everything for you. and this is what i get huh. hurt again and again. i just feel so fuckingly pissed off by myself. for falling in love with you. for clinging on to hopes that dont exist. i cant blame anyone for the state i'm in now. just blame myself for loving the wrong person. i guess
3it doesnt mean anything to you anymore.
i bought this thing for you. just for that day. but fucking hell, you dont want it. you even seem to forget that date. what for do so much for you when you dont even appreciate it. i just felt like a fool. a fuckingly idiotic fool. you just seem to be toying with my feelings. i'm speechless. you dont even know how i feel. you do things that hurt me. i dont know what you want. you just seem to dislike the presence of me. some things i can no longer blog out. and i have no one to talk to about it. i no longer trust you as much if you realised. dont blame me for it. i think you know why. if you were me, how would you feel. i really freakingly want so much to HATE you. i want to get YOU out of MY mind. fuck you! get lost!
i sound so freakingly fake. but i cant help it. i really dont know what to do. i just hate this feeling. of you ignoring me. i hate it. and i hate 3 now. i no longer look forward to it.
♥ Thursday, November 02, 2006
8:11 PM