just one hour at the void deck and i smoked 4 sticks
couldnt help it when im alone thinking
sometimes i need people to be there for me too
i wonder what happened to the happy family that i had
from a family who always have high tea on sunday afternoons to a broken family like this
some may say there are other people worse than you, that they dont even have a family
but sometimes, not having is better than losing what you had
yes? no?
i aint superhuman
i aint as strong
i dont say a thing doesnt mean i dont feel a thing
i dont do anything doesnt mean i dont care a single shit
im losing people one by one
dont impose what you want on others
not everyone's like the way you want them to be
sometimes i just need someone to listen to what i have to say
i dont need comments
i just need a listening ear
i dont see the point of ranting to someone and then they'll say things back to you which may not be what you wanna hear
people may live in self denial so let them be
i detest liars
seriously, compulsive liars i meant
you dont lie for a living
you dont earn by lying
so why?
im going 4.2
and who knows about it
who has comforted me about it
some may say its your own fault
but you think this is what i want?
if you think that thats comforting words, i suggest you go google and find out whats comforting words
i feel more shitty than anyone else but who understands?
no one
NO FREAKING SOUL
if you're gonna start your granny story about working hard, you can make it and all, then i suggest you save it
cause i dont need another lecture
i dont need people to tell me what to do
i just need someone to give me their support, someone to understand me, someone to comfort me
but hell no, there isnt such a person
including
youhave i not given you support when we were together
even after we broke up, have i not been there for you
have i not tried ways to make you happy
my question now is, have
you done anything for me
were you ever there when i needed you
i dont need apologies cause it aint gonna help
its not gonna erase the pain its not gonna erase the memories and hurt
the more i type here, the more upset i get, the more heartache i get
its not something i can control
but i said before, im gonna move on
and i mean it
im tired, really just plain tired
i dont believe in love anymore because all i get is hurt
okay, its quite a long post
im pretty emotional now
bye.